My Sub-Journey to Independence
- Aug 18, 2021
- 4 min read
I started this blog to be a helpful hand for those of you who wanted to become more independent and in order to continue with this topic, I had to be fairly independent myself. I've been pretty independent since middle school which may sound concerning, but this quote from my roommate explains my life growing up fairly well: "I was pushed to tread my own water however, if I drowned I had help to get me back above the water."
Since I kind of grew up with more of a push to be independent, it was a little easier for me to gather all of the other aspects that come with being independent. I did have one major change in my life that took my independence to a new level. In 2018, I decided that I was no longer going to eat meat. I had done the research and educated myself on animal ethicality, environmental impacts, health benefits etc. I knew it was a step in the right direction for me. So, when I went into this new lifestyle cold turkey I had to learn to accommodate for myself, I had to pick and choose my battles and I had to gain a new confidence. I was one of the best parts of my journey, but also the one that still presents struggles today.
BBQs a non meat eater's worst nightmare. All of the meats in one place, but barbecues were not my only struggle. There was restaurants, birthday parties, family gatherings, dates (okay I haven't had a true date but still), and all the other event where food was a main focus. I hate when food is a main focus because these events are also for so much more than food. People need to mind their own business. Anyways at the beginning of this journey I was very hesitant to ask that there was a satiating dish that I could eat, so I would eat side dishes which was totally fine because who doesn't love side dishes? However, this always lead to me going home and eating everything in my fridge because I wasn't full. After realizing that that wasn't something I wanted to do anymore I made accommodations for these situations. Sometimes I would eat a smaller, balanced meal beforehand and then graze on sides. Sometimes I would pack my own food so I knew I would be able to eat with everyone. If the circumstance fit, I would bring a dish that everyone could share. And sometimes there was an option that I would choose because it was a bug enough portion and I wouldn't hate eating it. Now there were occasions where my accommodations were not good enough for those who I was trying to enjoy time with.
Not eating the standard American diet for some reason bothers certain people. I do not know why, it just does. When these cases came my way I panicked because I did not know the right thing to say. I knew why I made the decisions I made but felt no need to explain my entire process to someone. I resorted to simple, yet educated responses like: "I did research on the impacts of meat consumption and I did not feel it was right for me to support it." or "Thank you for your concern, but I feel great eating what I do and knowing my contribution to the planet" or even "Just because." In no way are these responses perfect, but I had to pick whether I was going to fight with the people I cared about or bite my tongue even if it resulted in me fighting myself a little. And to answer the question of "Did anyone ever fight back on your responses?" The answer is a big, fat YES! Them fighting back though, gave me some toughness that I really needed and it actually leads me right into the last point of my story.
Being different from the people you love or grew up with is hard and being different from majority of the people around you is even harder. From my experience, responses to being different can come in the form of stares, questions, cold shoulders, mockery, there are some more but I'll just leaves these few. The feeling that come with these response are far from positive which meant that in order to not see myself in a bad way I had to change my mindset. I put my thick skin on, held my head up high and kept reminding myself that I loved the way I am living and in no way should any person let me feel lesser of a person. This new confidence and mentality did not come over night, in fact I still work on facing people and their gestures towards me. All of my other blogs have a very similar theme to them which is "give it your best," your independence journey is so personal and it will take some time. Take what the world is giving you with big decisions, mine just happened to be the decision to give up eating meat.
My journey to independence has and will continue to be be a lot longer than this particular part. These event are what I mean by "Big Steps." I haven't written much in any of my categories because your journey will be specific to you. That is a lot of ground to cover by just one person. I hope this part of my story will help some of you and hopefully you have gained some knowledge from the points I made. Although I have treaded some rough waves, I was able to learn how to accommodate for myself, understand which battles were worth fighting, and improved my mental wellbeing with an improved confidence in myself and choices. My journey is still in the works, but I will take every experience as a way to become more independent while also learning to balance having people, that I want, to be there for me.
Comments