How to Achieve a Close Knit Friend Group

Small friend groups and independence seem to fall under a similar category. If this is the case for you then I want you to answer this question… How are you able to achieve your close knit circle without all of the complications that others question you on? Have an answer? Even if you do or don’t, try to at least look at the major topics (headings) on how to find and keep a smaller friend group.

Step 1: Find those who you share interests and don't look for everything in common

Warning: this step does require talking

This step is a vulnerable one especially if you are not the one to begin a conversation, but there is a multitude of conversation topics that are good for getting to know people. Even a simple hello to someone may be enough since there are those out there who love to share. You are welcome to even look up topics to talk about or take advise from a professional. Hailey Shafir discusses material related to socialization and social skills and her article on "How to Find Things in Common With Someone" take nine points and breaks them down on ways to find people who you will get along with in some aspect. Now having commonalities with someone is a great step to finding a longterm friend(s), but ever heard of opposites attract? I'm not saying that this will work for everyone, but you may benefit from having differences with another person because there is more opportunities for new experiences, exploring things together, and separate identities (which is what we are going for here). In a more simpler term, if you have ever been with two people who are both indecisive the decision on where to go out to eat is almost impossible.

Step 2: Plan, Plan, Plan

Step 2 is the fun step. With the small group you have established, or the individual, that you feel like you want to put the effort in to stay friends begin doing friend activities. This is not just hanging out at someones house, on your cellular devices for a couple hours and then leave. Keep the friendship exciting! Go do activities that all of you enjoy or take an adventure, doing things that are not familiar to either of you. The key to this step is balance. Have balance between doing things you love, doing new things and doing things to relax.

Step 3: Do Not Become Too Dependent

This last step may seem contradictory to the last, but it is really not. All this is saying is to make sure you have time for yourself too. Taking time for yourself allows you to have your own identity and not identify with other or have people always associating you with your friend group. Similar to the last step, the time you take shouldn't be spent on your phone all day or doing homework or sulking in any way shape or form because the you are still relying on your friends for you to enjoy life. I have another post all about hobbies and why they are essential with examples of a few easy ones to get started on. Depending on your friends for support and love is one thing, but for enjoyment and satisfaction is not a good idea. Being independent is important and establishes life skills that may be needed if no one can be there to help.

Now you have the key components to starting a friendship and making sure that it can last. It is only three steps, but each step requires something from you and I think that is the hard part, but I believe in all of you. Go get your lifelong small friend group!